RETREAT is to REVEAL : A throwback on my Realizations

The retreat is a time of unwinding, an opportunity to look at myself and asses what I have done, and a chance to disconnect from my usual routine in order for me to reconnect with God. The thing that made it very special was because we did it together as one class, as one 4 Pedro Calungsod. Together we pondered, shared, listened and even cried for the things that troubled us greatly.

Even during the disposition, I was already very excited because I really anticipated it to be great. As a person we all have our own storage rooms, a place in our heart where we keep our secrets, hidden feelings, and things that are taken for granted in our past. We all have our attics deep within us, and the retreat is a chance to let God in our storage room and try to help us live our lives as meaningfully as we can. It’s about letting Him in and opening ourselves up to Him. “Me and God Alone,” In Silence we hear and listen, we Think and Thank, we Open ourselves to God, and we Pray.

I realized how blessed I am. Looking at how I have taken for granted the presence of people in my life and the value of things in my life, it was really nice to finally see how I should be grateful to God for the bucket-over flowing with blessings. It was not easy to become the person I am today, for I also had to do a lot of sacrifices along the way, and a lot of hard and fast decisions. I have a lot of significant loops in life, a strong hold in my dreams, and a strong desire to always do great things for God’s greater glory. I realized that I needed to really dig deeper and dive deeper so I can really open myself better.

My life has meaning, I am fulfilled that I have experienced this much. The things that happened to me all had their place in my life. Everything happens for a reason. I became free of the burden of regret that I had before when I moved to CDO for high school, but during the retreat I saw the bigger picture and realized that if I never did take the chance to be in Xavier, I would have never met everyone here in Calungsod. I would have never experienced the things that I had, meaning I could’ve become a very different person. 

My fears, my imperfections and my flaws are also a big part in who I am. If I did not experience failures, I would have never learned important lessons in life. If I never feared anything then I guess I would’ve closed myself to others, but I do have fears and I’m happy to have my loved ones to support me and comfort me in my dire of need. Having a class I can call my own is a really wonderful feeling, and I know that I can trust them and count on them not to judge me for anything. I’m grateful to the people that touched my life and helped me become the kind of person I am today

 Life is a mystery, for a mark of a human being is the ability to ask questions. 

That is life mysterious, I encounter people every day and I realized that each one of them really impacted the way I see my life. My friends and my family are the people whom I always depend on, because they understand me, know me, and accept me for who I am. However, I am aware of the fact that my worth as a person does not come from somebody else, only from me and God. That is why we must not judge people. It is important to ask questions about life, questions that are deep and meaningful. 

The questions that I ask speak of the person that I have become.

Fr. Rudy has really inspired me a lot to live my life better, to have a heart more life Jesus, and to see beyond the four corners of an ordinary life set-up. He reminded me about being passionate in the things I do, as a leader I call the shots. I make the decisions and take responsibility for them.  I learned of honesty, not just the typical “telling the truth and not lying” kind of honesty, but the deeper meaning of it in life. I will be honest with myself, the things I want, need, hate, love… because I cannot pretend or simply say that I’m putting a mask on myself, because there is someone out there that knows the real me and that someone is God.

I went to the retreat to look for discernment and forgiveness but I end up being blessed with more. The grace of appreciation and the gift of knowing how to love more deeply. The palancas that I receive were so heartwarming. They really motivated me to keep on doing what I do best and that is to be myself and be great in being me. I am so happy that my parents are so proud of what I have achieved and how the people that I value very much in my life also value me greatly in theirs. 

These are the palancas that I have written whole heartedly, letters with genuine words and TLC words. It just saddens me to know that there were five lost palancas, five people I have failed to give a palanca...five people who were really special to me and it hurt me so much to realize that I could not do anything anymore to find those lost palancas. However it does not stop me from letting them know how special and important they are to me, in some ways I'll make up for it. Life doesn't always go according to how we planned it but it doesn't mean that we will stop planning. We go on with life and wait for the surprises that comes along, makes it more interesting, thrilling and exciting. Anyways "Everything Happens For A Reason...."

The greatest lesson I learned would be what Fr. Rudy said, “ What matters is the here and now, the “right now” moments in our life, if you are happy then be happy… always look at life in the bigger picture.” Our life is not only about socializing with people or the mere academic excellence that we attain...that does not define who you are and it does not measure what you are capable of. I will treasure everyone in my life and I will strive to make God proud and happy to call me His own.